


send nudes

by Kolarov



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Erwin Smith Has a Big Dick, M/M, Sexting, cheap jokes, i'm so sorry about the title i feel bad, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 08:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kolarov/pseuds/Kolarov
Summary: Levi: am I a dick؟Erwin: you're not just 'a dick', Levi. You're MY dick.Erwin: and my dick is fucking huge.Levi: kysErwin: wanna see a pic of MY dick?





	send nudes

Levi's phone buzzed  
He sighed and reached to it

  
**Erwin sent you a message**

  
Levi narrowed his eyes and opened the message.

  
Erwy: Levi!!!  
Erwy: it's v important!

  
Levi exhaled angrily

  
Levi: Yes, Smith. Irish people speak English

  
Erwy: lol, already know.

  
Lol? Erwin?  
Levi knotted his eyebrows and parted his lips in disgust.

  
Levi: because I told you yesterday?

 

Erwy: Lev, let me talk.

  
Levi: fucking do, I wanna sleep, it's 2am, if it's not worth it, I swear to god that I'll block you. Bitch

  
Erwy: ……

  
Levi breathed out amusingly and rubbed his forehead.

  
Levi: just talk already, I won't judge

  
** Erwy is recording a voice message… **

  
Levi sighed.

  
**Erwy sent you a voice message**

  
**Play**

 

**"** _hey, uh…. Fuck"_ he chuckled loudly, and inhaled

" _I'm sorry it's just uh…. Damnit!"_ he chuckled again, cleared his throat

_"okay, so I told Nile if he wants to see a dick pic, and uh… I sent him a picture of Mike…"_

Levi pressed on his lips to prevent himself from laughing already, what the fuck?

"and uh, he laughed and said _that dick must be Asian_ , and I told him, _dude, you ARE Asian!_ "

 

Levi exhaled sharply as Erwin sent another voice message.

  
_"and then, I went to Mike and told him if he wanted to see a dick pic, apparently, Nanaba was sitting next to him and Mike played my voice message, so she blocked me from her and Mike's device"_

  
Levi: well-deserved you pervert.

  
**Erwy is recording a voice message…**

  
Levi sighed again.

  
_"do you wanna see a dick pic?"_

  
Levi: whose picture are you sending me?  
Levi: send me Eren's and I'll take you to dinner  
Levi: at McDonald's.

  
Erwy: sadly, that isn't what I'm thinking about.

  
Levi narrowed his brows as his nostrils picked up the scent of another stupid joke.  
He didn't reply, he waited for the other man to finish the goddamn joke so he could go to sleep peacefully.  
Erwin didn't say anything.

the realization dawned on Levi's features as he thought very deeply of Erwin's intention, he closed his eyes angrily and began to type.

  
Levi: am I a dick to you?

  
**Seen**

  
** Erwy is typing…. **

  
Erwy: you're not just 'a dick', Levi. You're MY dick.  
Erwy: and my dick is fucking huge.

  
Levi didn't see that coming

  
Levi: kys

  
Erwy: wanna see a pic of MY dick?

  
Levi got curious; he wanted to know if Erwin really had a picture of him, well…

**Erwy is sending a photo…**

  
Levi's heart skipped a beat, mouth twitching up in excitement.

  
**Erwy sent you a photo**

  
**Open**

  
......

Levi: that's a dick

  
Erwy: yup, it is

  
Levi: a real dick?

  
Erwy: does it, in a way, look like a dildo?

  
Levi: is that your dick?

  
Erwy: damn right, impressive huh?

  
Levi: your fucking disgusting.

  
Erwy: you're*

  
Levi: I'm angry!

  
Erwy: what for? You just saw a dick pic, cheer up!

  
Levi: what the fuck is wrong with you?

  
Erwy: you don't like my sense of humor?

  
**Seen**

  
Erwy: hey Lev?  
Erwy: wtf man

Erwy: relaaaaaaaaax!

  
** You blocked Erwy **

  
Erwin parted his mouth in disbelief. Well, not that he didn't see that coming but that happened without a warnin-

  
Levi: okay I'm calm

  
Erwy: so, you were masturbating?

  
** You blocked Erwy **

 

An hour passed and Levi was nowhere to be seen, when Erwin's eyes got heavier, his phone buzzed again.

  
Levi: when's Petra's birthday?

  
Erwy: new phone who dis?

  
Levi: cut the shit old man

  
Erwy: at least i'm tall  
Erwy: and it was last month  
Erwy: don't tell me that you just wished her a happy birthday…

  
Levi: no…  
Levi: who cares

  
Erwy: I know right

 

Levi locked his phone and put it on the nightstand next to him, thinking of what he just told Petra. He wa-  
His phone buzzed again.

 

** Erwy sent you a message **

  
** Open **

  
Erwy: yo Lev

  
Levi: fuck off already

  
Erwy: calm your tits!

  
Levi: say it one more time, and you're blocked. Forever.

  
Erwy: k k I'll just ask you something.

  
**Seen**

  
Erwy: wow you're an asshole.  
Erwy: anyway we both know that already

  
Levi: are you fucking asking or what? It's 3am bitch!

  
Erwy: k! um, you know, now that you've seen my dick…

  
Levi: don't tell me

  
Erwy: c'mon man  
Erwy: s e n d n u d e s  
Erwy: we're friends right?  
Erwy: unless you secretly have a crush on me  
Erwy: in that case you got the chance to see my dick

  
**Seen**

  
Erwy: this is not fair! :(

Levi: okay, wait a second.

  
Erwy: wow…. Really??  
Erwy: I know that I'll be disappointed  
Erwy: whatever.

  
**Seen**

Levi bit the tip of his lip nervously. He didn't know if he was sexting Erwin, but it didn't sound wrong at all, he liked it, his stupid sense of humor, his dic-  
Levi choked on his own spit, violently patted on his chest as the thought crossed his mind like a sword.  
He opened the camera and his other free hand went to his pants, revealing his boxer.

  
**Photo sent**

  
Erwy: wow……

  
Levi: ikr

  
Erwy: it has a… nail.

  
Levi: little decoration

  
Levi smiled at the photo of his middle finger proudly, his sense of humor was worse than Erwin's.

  
Levi: not my fault that my middle finger gets a boner whenever I think of you.

  
Erwy: do you want me to tell you a short sad story?

  
Levi: sure

  
Erwy: promise not to tell anyone?

  
Levi: promise.

  
Erwy: okay, I haven't told anyone this before…  
Erwy: once, in high school, a girl wanted to give me a blowjob  
Erwy: I was 16 and she was 17, I looked like I was 19 back then pfft.

  
Levi: wow….

  
Erwy: so I um, she told me to take off my pants and so I did,

  
Erwy: then she said, 'ew, I don't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke'

  
Levi: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!  
Levi: HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Erwy: I felt so insecure about my dick back then, I wonder where she is now,  
Erwy: hopefully she did choke on a small object and die.  
Erwy: didn't* ;)  
Erwy: I think she said that on purpose, she was bi and she liked that girl who liked me that I didn't like? So it was kind of a, revenge, don't you think?

  
Levi: FAIL!

  
Erwy: no one asked for your life story.

  
Levi: fuck you you fucking fuck

  
Erwy: ah, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us

  
Erwy: Dick. Pic. Now.

  
Levi: you horny or something?

  
Erwy: aren't we all?

  
Levi: hmmm

  
** Photo sent **

  
** Open **

  
Erwy: what the fuck is this?  
Erwy: did you just send me a screenshot of the story I told you about?  
Erwy: you promised!  
Erwy: I hope you get fingered by Wolverine.

  
Levi: shit I was about to send it to Mike  
Levi: then Nanaba would see it, BAM! Your ass is dead  
Levi: Erwin?  
Levi: Erwyyyy?  
Levi: Smith.

  
** You are sending a photo… **

** Photo sent **

** Open **

  
  
Erwy: nice dick man

  
Levi: thanks man

Levi: that's very weird i wanna kill myself 

 

Erwy: I'm gonna sext you.

Levi: excuse you?

Erwy: Lay me into bed

Erwy: your hands caress my body

Erwy: your arms are sweaty

Levi: ?

Erwy: knees weak

Erwy: arms spaghetti 

Levi: fuck

Erwy: you horny babe?

Levi: why are we friends?

Erwy: say my name 

Levi: motherfucker.

Erwy: i'm so turned off 

Erwy: thanks, cockblock 

Levi: anytime

....

Erwy: you're no fun

Levi: yeah?

Levi: i'll give it a try, wait a sec

Erwy: i don't trust you

Levi: wish you were here

Erwy: yeah?

Erwy: what would you do to me? 

  **Seen**

****

****Levi: seduce me

Erwy: damn 

Levi: with canolo siciliano, sushi and carbononara 

Erwy: fuck you 

Levi: you wish

**Author's Note:**

> I was working on a long, sad eruri fic and it somehow didn't work so, you have this instead  
> i regret nothing


End file.
